There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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