Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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