so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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