If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Every concussion has its silver lining
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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