you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
