God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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