Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
