It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
