WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
