And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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