So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize