so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
