mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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