I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
