He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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