if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
