I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am available for nakedness
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
