you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He better not be in your backpack
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
