Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
