i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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