Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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