with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
