Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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