I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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