i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
