guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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