Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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