he shaved USA in his pubs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize