Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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