"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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