:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
