i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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