I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
