I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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