just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
