he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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