put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
