Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize