He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
