And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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