If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
