Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
