sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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