No stitches, just platelets and will power
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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