Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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