Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
a search helicopter?!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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