Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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