nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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