my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
