I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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