what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
