He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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