Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
