we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
