Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize