I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
