I look better un-naked...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
