remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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