We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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