i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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