They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
