you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis