And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.