marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How does one acquire holy water?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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