I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
