yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
