If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
