I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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